For the past two years I have been taking early morning walks down my small country road on my own.  It began with a determination to lose weight.  It was a struggle to get myself out there but I was determined to get that weight off.  Sometimes I would enjoy myself and often I would resent that the results I was looking for still hadn't shown up.

In the summer of 2006, my husband and I watched The Secret.  We felt the truth in the message and were excited by its possibilities but were still unsure as to whether we could truly manifest the life we wanted.  After much discussion we decided that no harm could come from giving it a wholehearted, both feet in, committed try.  To our surprise, the first and most significant result that came from our efforts was a deep sense of gratitude and it came about like this.

I took on visioning my intended future during my morning walks instead of thinking of the problems or challenges ahead for the day.  I would envision myself diving in to my beautiful tiled in-ground pool and then laying in a lounge chair on the deck as someone delivered me the paper and my morning drink.  A smile crept across my face and a deep sense of well being flooded through my body.  I got truly in touch with this wonderful future that is coming my way and a deep sense of gratitude for this future that was available to me.  This led me to even deeper feelings of gratitude for the Source that was providing me with this abundant and incredible future.  I could feel the energy flowing from the ground up my body and in to my heart.  I breathed in the fresh air and was grateful for being alive and so cared for and inspired by my Source.

Of course what naturally developed from these incredibly beautiful and inspiring morning walks was a deep sense of gratitude for what I had right then.  What a privilege it was to be me in my life with the beauty and abundance that surrounded me and loved me.  Life was amazing and I was truly present to it.  This was the greatest gift I could have received.  I have continued to develop this sense of gratitude and now I don't rely on my walks to get me present to it.  I see it everywhere and everyday in my life.  I easily focus on all the wonderful things and people that surround me, am present to the incredibly beautiful and intelligent and loving human being that I am and the ease with which that which I intend flows out of the universe and manifests itself in my life.

Life is wonderful and I am deeply grateful.

Katharina von Hugo

The word "gratitude" didn't exist in my vocabulary as I grew up, but in later years it was brought to my attention that gratitude was a quality that I needed to adopt and embrace if I were ever going to live a joyous and fulfilled life. Fortunately, I deeply believed (contrary to what I had been taught) that change is possible at any age.

My understanding of this on a gut level came when I found myself living with my mother after my father passed away. Like many couples from my parents' generation, my mother's identity was totally intertwined with my father's and she was devastated by his sudden death. For many years, she had been almost blind but as long as he was by her side she had been able to live a relatively normal life. Now she was incapable of being on her own both emotionally and physically. I offered to stay with her until she could get back on her feet, and made the commitment to myself to allow her to take her time and make her own decisions about her future when she was ready.

At first, the experience for me was suffocating. I had always been a free spirit - physically, mentally and spiritually - and suddenly I was forced to completely reduce the scope of every aspect of my life to accommodate my mother's rhythm. Our main focus each day was shopping and cooking. There was very limited discussion about anything other than the mundane. She became totally preoccupied with her own health and we visited one doctor after another. We walked at a snails' pace. I felt as if I had been thrust into a straight-jacket, and the worst part of it was that I had no idea how long this would last. The frustration, annoyance and irritation that I felt each moment of each day was almost unbearable.

Then I came across two simple statements:

The first statement was, "Give thanks before you receive." (Dr. Kenneth G. Mills) This was substantiated not long afterwards by, "The reason you want every single thing you want is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But if you don't feel really good on your way to there, you can't get there. You have to be satisfied with "what is" while you're reaching for more." (Abraham, 10/05/02)

The truth of these statements struck me like a thunderbolt. I had to be grateful and feel good in the midst of all that was the antithesis of what usually felt good to me in order to extricate myself from the very situation! What a paradox! The feelings of gratitude and happiness had to come from within. I had to find a way to appreciate, acknowledge, accept, and be satisfied with my lot, and to vibrate the energy of love and gratitude, not frustration or resentment.

What did I do? I observed. I watched my responses, and I switched my thinking every time I found myself engaged in a thought process that did not create a positive feeling. I'd catch myself being annoyed, and I'd smile. I would enveloped myself in a feeling of gratitude. The smile was legitimate because deep down I was excited that I had the awareness, the power, and the where-with-all to change the way I felt. The feeling of gratitude was legitimate because it instantly changed my state.

Eight months later, of her own accord, my mother decided to move into a seniors' residence. Given her state at the time, this happened much sooner than anyone thought possible. We put her condo up for sale and she made the move. And then I was free again. No, in truth, I was free from the moment I began to actively embrace and engage the feeling of gratitude!

Katrine Goldfarb

January 2008

The date is July 19,1979.  The time is 1 A.M.

My 6 month old son has been tracheotomized at The Hospital for Sick Children.  He is also a severe asthmatic.  In 1979, Jamie is expected to live at H.S.C. I will not allow this.  I train at the hospital to learn his care.  The floors are hard. By his first birthday, Jamie returns home with 24 hour nursing care. 

June,1980 - My husband and I separate.  I now take on the role of single-parent added to the roles of nurse, full-time teacher and running my own nursing agency.  Jamie experiences many 911 emergencies and is frequently declared "clinically dead".  I do not give up.

At 5 years of age, Jamie is extubated (tracheotomy tube removed).  We now live without nurses.  His 911 emergencies continue.  He is sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious.  I have no nurses.  I have no tracheotomy to suction.  We live this way for a further 10 years.

The date is January 16, 2008.  The time is 12:50 P.M.  I am in my car approaching the intersection of Mavis Road and Eglinton Avenue in Mississauga.  In my rearview mirror, I can see an ambulance approaching.  I pull my car over as far as possible.  The ambulance driver cannot get by the other traffic.  Finally the light changes.  I know the driver is frustrated.  I start to drive, start to sob.  It is "now time to cry."  I realize today that I have "lost myself" in many ways while also being blessed in the ability to recognize my strengths and my weaknesses with an awakening perspective of life itself.

I now am aware that the most important lesson about "the art of losing" is that surviving that loss and letting go is only half the story,  The other half is the secret belief that we will find what we have lost.  It is this belief that helps and guides us to survive, that gives purpose to the very reason for living.  It can happen with the loss of loved ones, the loss of special friendships, the loss of a particular piece of jewellery, even if treasured only by us and in my case, the loss of myself.  The true beauty of "the art of losing" is that what has been lost can be found again.

Perhaps, I will begin to carry out this process of "finding myself" in "The Courageous Living" mentoring circle which I have just joined.

July 12, 2008 - 4 P.M. - My son is getting married today to the girl of his dreams.  I am in awe of him.  I am proud.

We lose.  We go on living. But we never stop hoping and believing.

Katherine Rice

By Kathy Paauw

Three years ago, our only child departed for college 1700 miles away from home. My husband and I became empty-nesters overnight. The same week that she left, my mother announced that she was finally ready to do an intervention with my brother, who has been an alcoholic and cocaine addict for more than 20 years. Although I had prayed for many years that my mother (the enabler in my brother's life) would reach this point, I did not expect that God would answer my prayers the same week that I was working through the trauma of our daughter moving away for college. September 2005 quickly became a very low point in my life.

During the height of my depression, I received a phone call from a good friend. After I spent a while crying into the phone and having a pitty party for myself, my friend made one request of me. She asked if I would be willing to begin each day by sending a card of appreciation to someone I cared about, and do this for seven days in a row. I promised her that I would try it.

I was in such a deep depression that, at first, I had trouble thinking of anything I could appreciate. But each day it got a little easier. Each morning, as I started the day with this ritual, I realized how disconnected and isolated I had become. I rediscovered the healing power of extending myself to others, and how easily I can motivate, uplift, and make a difference by the simple gesture of sending a note of appreciation or encouragement to those I care about. In doing so, I also helped myself feel more connected, and my depression lifted by the seventh day.

Today, I continue the ritual of beginning each day by expressing appreciation and gratitude to someone I care about. It sets the tone for my whole day, and this single act has also done amazing things for my relationships. I am a firm believer in the power of following promptings and sending a card of gratitude to the first name that pops into my head each morning.